There were howls of shock last week when ageing heart-throb Brad Pitt announced to the world that those responsible for the BT oil spill should be executed. Could this be the same Pitt who has come to represent all that is great about liberal Hollywood? The same selfless campaigner who regularly uses their star status to highlight burning social issues such as world poverty and tardiness? The same guilty white do-gooder who with his sex-addict wife Jennifer Ellison has travelled the globe bringing glitz and glamour to the most impoverished of hell-holes, collecting orphans like Wayne Rooney collects STDs? You bet your sweet ass it is folks. And a glance into the blonde star's past reveals this isn't the first time his dodgy views have landed him in the CLARTS!

Since finding fame as loveable dip-shit Doug Willis in Neighbours Pitt has effortlessly ascended to the A-list with an old-fashioned combination of talent, hard work, and taking his top off at every available opportunity. Before convincing the world he was a serious actor by growing a beard. However with success have come some worryingly extreme opinions on crime and punishment that place the Thelma And Daphne beefcake just to the right of Mel Gibson.

As early in his career as his turn in Chris Tarantino's True Lies, Pitt was causing ripples among lily-livered lefty colleagues. Few crew members will ever forget the day he rounded on co-star Dennis Potter after the '70s icon accidentally put a jar of peanut butter back in the fridge instead of the cupboard. To be fair, Potter had previous form, having done the same thing with a bottle of Daddy's brown sauce the day before, though few could have anticipated such an over-the-top reaction. No sooner had Potter wiped the toast crumbs from his face he was handed a petition hurriedly typed up by Pitt urging then President Ronald Regan to pass a bill making the wrongful storing of perishables a federal offence punishable by firing squad. To Potter's dismay the petition had been signed by co-stars Rosanna Arquette and Gary Coleman. Upon closer inspection however, it became apparent that their signatures were mispelt and scrawled in crayon. Luckily, before Potter could confront his touchy co-star and trainee forger, Tarantino himself stepped in and suggested the two actors settle the matter over a game of Buckaroo. However just as the situation seemed resolved Pitt snapped and accused Potter of cheating by wobbling the table when it was his go. He was dragged away kicking and screaming that if he had his way the former Hell's Angel would be 'strung up by his cock for crimes against humanity!'.

As the years followed, Pitt's fame and mania grew in tandem. Half a decade later on the set of Men In Black, triple-Oscar winner Anthony Perkins was on the receiving end of his co-star's wrath. Early in the production, as the Irish acting legend enjoyed an afternoon nap he was awoken by two FBI agents banging on his trailer door, demanding to question him about a 'serious incident'. An hour later the two agents left, apologising profusely. Word is they'd received an anonymous tip-off that the respected actor was using the Men In Black set to dispose of several thousand dollars worth of out-of-date cocaine. After convincing the feds of his innocence he confronted Pitt who amazingly both confessed and showed no remorse, telling Perkins if he hadn't left the toilet seat up in the first place then he wouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Ever the professional, Perkins reluctantly finished the film but left a parting shot during the wrap party by sneaking into Pitt's trailer and having an enormous crap on his pillow. Even now, Pitt regularly pesters the LA county sherrif to press charges of terrorism, lewd behaviour and consuming illegal amounts of jalapeno peppers against the fiery scot.

And to this day Pitt has never let up. Hollywood lore is stuffed with similar tales of pettiness, from accusing Eric Norton of attempting to poison him on the set of The First Wives Club (Norton later tesftified in court that if he'd known of Pitt's allergy he would never have dreamed of putting tomato ketchup on his fish-fingers instead of next to them), to writing on his blog that all thieves should have their hands cut off after his Twelve Angry Men co-star Bruce Lewis borrowed a magic marker and returned it minus its top.

But this dark side appears to be spreading. Despite spending years flashing her tuppence for the cameras at the drop off a suspender, wife Jennifer Ellison is notoriously prissy about photographers taking pictures of their 12 children. Indeed just last month she applied to the MI5 for a Jason Bourne-style license to kill after a papparazzo snapped 5 year old K-Pax pumping on his sister Aswad's head. Alarm bells were already ringing throughout the Pentagram after the Mortal Kombat star reported fellow Cheers alumni and good friend Courtney Love to the authorities for wearing the same knickers two days in a row. And the least said of her repeated pleas to congress to pass a bill outlawing the slurping of tea the better.

But this time the golden couple have gone too far. Pitt's comments about the west coast oil spill (made during an interview with director Mike Leigh for his new documentary on Hurricane Higgins) have already caused serious repurcussions. Ellison's estranged father Christopher Walken was yesterday forced to apologise to BT for his son-in-law's draconion views and pledged to make the actor see the error of his ways by kicking seven colours of shite out of him. Predictably Pitt and Ellison remained defiant and responded by emailing President Clinton and urging him to arrest Walken immediately on charges of sexual battery relating to a scene on Snakes On A Plane in which he visibly scratched his knackers and leered at Gloria Estefan.

So with even Ellison's own flesh and blood in the firing line, it seems this crazy couple will stop at nothing to satisfy their lust for retribution. Let the final word go to Pitt's Ocean's 18 team-mate Doug Arkin, who hasn't spoken to his former friend since the middle-aged heart-throb was reported to the LAPD for performing open-heart surgery without wearing a scrub-cap in an episode of St Elsewhere: 'There's nothing inglourious about these two basterds'.

Hear, hear.

(Though I think he meant there's nothing glorious. But hey, who's counting. He's still got lovely hair. And eyes. And...)